The 'Family Bed'.

Of all the things I post about co-sleeping seems to raise most interest with others.  Let's start with the basics, the terms: 'co-sleeping', 'bed-sharing', 'sleep-sharing' and the 'family bed' all mean sleeping in close proximity to your baby - either next to you with the baby on a separate sleeping surface, or in bed with you.  Current Department of Health guidelines state babies should sleep in the bedroom with its mother for the first 6 months, this is known as 'room-sharing'.  This is a step put in place to help prevent SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome).

Sharing your bed with your baby is the most natural way to sleep when you have a baby.  We as humans are mammals, and it is important to bear in mind that no other mammal will separate itself from its young to go to sleep.  Up until the 19th Century co-sleeping was the norm in the UK, it was only after this that people starting placing their babies in cribs, and distancing themselves from their young at night.  Of course there is also a cultural aspect to sleep-sharing; Young (1998) found co-sleeping to be a cultural norm for 90% of the worlds population.  Bharti (2006) suggested 93% of children aged 3-10 years old will bed-share in India, and in 1966 research by Caudill and Plath found age 11 to be the average age children make the transition away from the family bed in Japan. I think this information really puts placing our children in cots to sleep into perspective; it is in fact a very recent, Western phenomenon. 

Safe 'co-sleeping' and 'bed-sharing' have been found in many studies to reduce rates of SIDS, contrary of popular belief.  Dr. James J McKenna is the professor of Anthropology at the University of Notre Dame has researched mother-baby relationships and sleep for over 25 years.  His finding suggest that if done safely cosleeping is in fact best for mother and child, and does reduce SIDS rates.  Co-sleeping rates in Japan have always been higher than in Western society.  They generally sleep together on low futons and bed-share with their babies.  Japans bed-sharing rates are increasing whilst the countries SIDS rate is decreasing; this is not a coincidence.  Other factors reducing the Japanese SIDS rates are the virtually non-existant maternal smoking rate, and that approximately 75% of mothers will exclusively breastfeed (McKenna 2007).  Another startling piece of research on SIDS rates was performed by Grether et al (1990), they studied Asian immigrant sub-groups in the USA, whose SIDS rates would be very low in their country of origin.  The results show that as these groups have adopted the American lifestyle overtime, and put their children in cots at night for longer periods of time, the SIDS rates for these ethnic groups have now risen to match the rest of the population in the USA.  So the above studies prove that whilst it is natural, and in most other parts of the world actually normal to bed-share, it is also safer for a breastfed baby.  By sharing a bed you and your baby fall in sync with each other; amazingly your presence regulates your babies heartbeat, breathing and body temperature. 

Bed-sharing with a formula fed baby is different from a baby who is breastfed.  This is due to the hormonal changes the mother experiences when breastfeeding.  These hormones affect maternal behaviour, which was proven in a recent neurological comparison study on breastfeeding and formula mothers brains by Kim et al (2011).  In terms of co-sleeping this means that breastfeeding mothers will be more aware innately aware of the babies presence and as such be more responsive.  The two important hormones are Oxytocin and Prolactin.  Oxytocin is also known as 'the love hormone' for it has a strong role in maternal bonding, thus backing up the findings the above study; whilst Prolactin is the lactation hormone.  Prolactin levels are highest overnight, therefore mother who co-sleeps will tend to have a more plentiful milk supply than one who does not.  A formula feeding mother will have decreased levels of these both of these hormones, which will impact upon how responsive they are to the babies cues at night when bed-sharing, and also will mean the mother will enter the deeper stages of sleep that breastfeeding mothers do not.  These factors increase the risk to the baby if a formula feeding mother chooses to co-sleep or bed-share.  As a mother, irrelevant of feeding method, it is your responsibility to weigh up the benefits and risks and make an informed decision.

In terms of the practicalities of co-sleeping and bed-sharing, there are a few issues to consider.  In terms of safety it is very important to think about your bedding.  With a small baby of under a year old you need to be careful with duvets and pillows.  These are heavy and a young baby will not have the strength to kick it off, so it is wise to use layers like sheets and blankets instead of a duvet, whilst keeping pillows away from your baby.  It has become very popular to use 'gro-bags' for children, like sleeping bags, but this is not wise when co-sleeping.  By sleep-sharing with your baby you will regulate your babies temperature, so extra layers like this are unnecessary.  Once the baby starts moving and rolling it is obviously wise to buy a bed guard, and one of my best parenting buys in fact was a soft foam wedge from eBay that stops the baby rolling out the bed, all without a cot type bar in site (I have become quite anti-cot over time, it makes me think of a caged animal, and I can't help thinking limbs are liable to get trapped).  Finally there are a few absolute no-no's in co-sleeping.  Parents should not bed-share or co-sleep if either partner smoke, breathing out second hand smoke in close proximity increases the risk of SIDS significantly.  Also the use of recreational drugs and alcohol will affect how deep the parent falls asleep thus making them less responsive to the baby, again increasing the risk of SIDS. 

As a breastfeeding mother who chose to bed-share initially to get more sleep, I can see how important it is to master the skill of breastfeeding a baby lying down.  Sears (1995) research found that in the early days where night-feeds are routine (and of course normal), breastfeeding and bed-sharing mothers slept for longer at night than any other group.  It is a skill, and in some cases will take a while to master, presumably because the horizontal positioning will alter the babies latch, but it really is worth persevering with.  Breastfed babies who share your bed rarely wake in the night, because when they start stirring they quickly find the breast and fall back to sleep, barely even waking the mother during the process.

I made the decision to co-sleep naturally, it just felt right, and to be honest there was little consultation with my husband, as he tended to be asleep for the night-feeds anyway.  I think he had justifiable concerns once it became apparent we were bed-sharing full time.  Fathers in general are not as responsive to a baby in the bed as the mother (referring back to the maternal hormones) so in the early days it is important that the baby sleeps on the mothers side, after approximately 6-12 months this becomes much less of an issue.  My husband quite often wakes up with Stanley draped across him nowadays!  I think waking up next to your smiling baby, hearing all the little night-time chuckles, and of late the 'sleep talking' makes it so worth it.  Our bed is a 'family bed' - mother, father and child. Normal and natural.  Of course whenever I speak to people about this arrangement the topic that is bought up most is when do my husband and I get "time together".  I think you just have to be open minded about where you have that time together....I do not remember reading anything after I got married about how that time has to be spent in the marital bed!

So all in all it is fair to say we inadvertently fell into co-sleeping.  My maternal instinct influenced the decision and it was became convenient for all the family - a mother who gets more sleep, a baby that barely wakes to feed, and a father who sleeps through the night.  No adult chooses to sleep alone if they have the option to share sleep with the people they love most, and I fail to see how this should be any different for a child.  As it turns out, after researching co-sleeping for some time there are many more benefits to bed-sharing than I have mentioned in this blog, for instance a time to reconnect and bond when parents work throughout the day.  Research also suggests children of bed-sharers thrive emotionally, physically and intellectually, and go on to have strong bonds with their parents well into the future, Sears (2011).   And these factors are enough to keep us bed-sharing until maternal instinct and Stanley suggests otherwise.

Thank you for taking the time to read this blog, and I'll post again soon.

References. 

Bharti B. (2006) Patterns and problems of sleep in school going children Indian Pediatr. Jan; 43(1):35–8


Caudill W, Plath DW. (1966) Who Sleeps by Whom? Parent-Child Involvement in Urban Japanese Families. Psychiatry 29: 344–366.

Grether JK, Schulman J, Croen LA. (1990) Sudden infant death syndrome among Asians in California. The Journal of Pediatrics. 116 (4) 525-8.

Kim P, Feldman R, Mayes LC, Eicher V, Thompson N, Leckman JF, Swain JE. (2011) Breastfeeding, brain activation to own infant cry, and maternal sensitivity. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry.

McKenna J (2007). Sleeping With Your Baby: A Parents Guide To Cosleeping. Platypus Press.

Sears, W. (1995). SIDS: A parent's guide to understanding and preventing Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. Boston: Little, Brown, and Company.

Sears, W. (2011) http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/sleep-problems/co-sleeping-yes-no-sometimes [accessed 24/06/2011]

 Young, J. (1998). Babies and bedsharing. Midwifery Digest. 8. 364-369.