All content of this blog is my own opinion only. It does not represent the views of anyone I work for, or am associated with.
Nothing within this blog should be considered as medical advice. You should always consult your Doctor or Health Professional.

Monday 22 August 2011

On Reflection.....

This is just a short reflective piece of writing about the little boy Stanley has become.  As you all know maternal instinct drove me to parent in the way that felt most comfortable to me.  It's been fairly easy ride in comparison to others, and I have gone out of my way not to make a big deal of the small things, and not compare Stanley to other children.  However when I look back, with hindsight I don't believe I was 100% sure I was doing what was best for Stanley (I was just following my maternal instinct), I mean how do you know you are going to create a happy, well-adjusted child at the end of it?  Especially when other peoples children act and seem different to your own.  My point is you don't know, you just have to do what feels best to you as their mother.  It would be so easy as a mother to turn your back on your own maternal instincts and take the well-meaning, but usually ill-informed advice from others.

I had a few concerns when Stanley was a toddler, not big ones, but I worried all the same that he was quite a 'clingy' toddler (I am sorry to use the term 'clingy' - I really dislike it now, and since then I have learnt it's a completely normal, and natural process of forming a strong attachment).  I was concerned I was creating a fearful, introverted, timid child.  And although I did not ever want to compare Stanley to others I found it difficult as friends toddlers did seem more advanced socially. 

With hindsight I really wish I not not spent a second on troubling myself with these thoughts.  I have fairly recently come to realise that Stanley is as gregarious and fearless as they come.  He is very confident and outgoing, happy to chatter and play with other children.  He is loving and sensitive, although prone to hugging other children he may not know very well!  I am so happy about the personality which is forming, it is great for him, I honestly would have felt like I had let him down had he been fearful and introverted.  Obviously an easy target of blame would have been the style of parenting I had chosen if that had been the case.

So now what I wonder is, would Stanley be the same little gregarious, fearless little boy without the bed-sharing, extended breastfeeding, or if he had been left to cry.  No one can answer this question.  But the studies suggest attachment parenting will increase a child's confidence, whilst leaving a child to cry on nightly basis to 'aid' sleep (what a joke, whose sleep is this meant to aid I wonder?) could well help create an insecure child.  This leaves me sure that of course 'nature' is important factor in the person Stanley will become, but I now think and see proof that attached parenting is also playing a very beneficial part in the journey too.

No comments:

Post a Comment